We create our lives through the choices we make, and the realisation that we can choose our reactions and be creative rather than reactive, is very empowering. When our boys were small, I taught them that they may not have a choice about what happens to them, but they do have a choice how they react. Often when they were upset, I would remind them;
“You can be miserable about this and let it ruin your day or you can laugh it off, and not let it upset you.” Or “You can get angry and hurt your brother, or you can sort it out with talking and negotiating.” I would often end with the question: “which one feels better?” I would also point out that each time they reacted in a way that felt bad, they were giving all their power away to the person or situation. The way to keep your power, and ensure you are the one who chooses how you feel or how your day goes, is to take a moment to choose before you react.
One day in the car I was furious with my older son and began shouting at him, my younger son suddenly interrupted “Excuse me Mom, remember… you’ve got two choices.” Well after a lecture on cheekiness, I let him know he was right. I had taken the low road and been reactive rather than creative. I should have taken a moment to breathe and ask myself what would be the most effective, loving and empowering way to handle the situation? His reminder changed my attack, and the situation was resolved in harmony which benefitted all.
As we move through life, we should remember that we always have two choices; the high road, or the low road, to hurt or to heal. To build up or to break down. We also have the choice to keep our power and be the one to choose our mood, rather than give our power away to a situation or person, and lose control of our experience.
When we claim the power of choice as to how we react in any situation, nothing and no-one have the power to hurt us. As we make a conscious effort to choose wisely, positively and more lovingly, we become a gift to all whose lives we touch.